From too much wind and too many sheep droppings at Maiden Castle to a case of the wrong Thomas Hardy - here’s a round-up of some hilariously ridiculous TripAdvisor reviews of Dorset’s historical landmarks.
Although these are a tiny minority of TripAdvisor reviews among a mass of glowing endorsements of Dorset’s historical landmarks, the dismissive put-downs certainly put a smile on our face.
As we all know, Dorset’s historical sites are stunning and have much to offer for any local or visitor, but for some moments of much-needed levity after Christmas, here’s what these hard-to-please reviewers thought of some of the county’s historical hotspots.
Maiden Castle, Dorchester
Known as one of the largest and most complex Iron Age hillforts in Europe, Maiden Castle’s lack of turrets and drawbridge seems to have surprised some reviewers.
One reviewer from London, giving the attraction a two star rating, writes: “I’m sorry but essentially it’s a hill with banks and sheep.”
Another from Oxford reached the same two star rating verdict and wrote: “Was rather disappointed. Nothing more than a hill which we couldn't enjoy properly due to the wind and rain. Don't think we’d visit again.”
For another reviewer from Lichfield, Maiden Castle’s woolly mascots – the many sheep that graze on the site - the size of 50 football pitches - proved too much.
They wrote: “The mass of sheep droppings, I've never seen so many, didn't make walking around the monument a pleasant experience, it took ages to clean boots afterwards (not to mention the smell in the car).”
Portland Bill lighthouse
The barren beauty of the southernmost point of Portland and its iconic lighthouse impresses most people, but not a very small minority.
One reviewer from Canada, giving the 1906 lighthouse a one star review, wrote: “This place is way overrated. We realised that people are in here only because they were told good things about it. We found nothing good about this crowded place.”
And it sounds like a visitor from Birmingham could hardly stay awake from their ‘boring’ experience to write their one star review: “The most boring experience of my life. Would never return to the isle of Portland. Boring, boring, boring.”
Hardy Monument, near Portesham
Built in 1844 in memory of the other Thomas Hardy - Vice-Admiral Sir Thomas Masterman Hardy, Flag Captain of HMS Victory at the Battle of Trafalgar, the site of this 72ft monument offers sweeping views of Dorset.
On a clear day you can see Start Point, Devon and St. Catherine’s Point on the Isle of Wight.
However, not everyone appreciates it.
One reviewer from Dumfries in their two star review wrote: “It’s a stone. It is what it is. Not much. The monument is what it looks like. A large pillar of stone.”
We can only think they generously awarded the two stars because they conceded: “The surrounding countryside is lovely though.”
It was a case of mistaken identity for one reviewer, who, on a Thomas Hardy tour appreciating Dorset’s famous literary son, realised he had got the wrong Tom.
“As we were on a Thomas Hardy tour this was an ‘oops’ moment but no matter. As I'm a fan of all things Napoleonic it was good to see Nelson’s captain’s monument, which has great views over the countryside,” the Kings Lyn reviewer wrote in their three star review.
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